Quotes By Woody Allen

Woody Allen is one of the most critically acclaimed and prolific filmmakers of 21st century, and is rightly so.He has wrote,directed and starred in most of his brilliant pieces of work.For inspiration, Allen draws heavily on such diverse fields of interest such as literature, sexuality, philosophy, psychology,and their influences are not very difficult to mark in his distinctive films.Moreover,he is also an accomplished musician and a comedian.I have collected below some of his humourous yet witty quotes which you're definitely gonna enjoy!

                                                                               

 

 There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

 I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.

 I don’t have to ‘freedom-kiss’ my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

 I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

 I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

 I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

 I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

 I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

 I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

 If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.

 In Beverly Hills… they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

 Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. 

Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.

 My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

 Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words.

 What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carepet.

 When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

 You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.