Confessions: The Underdog Inside Me

I have had one thing to confess for quite a long time now - i never wanted to be an underdog nor did i have the slightest of forsightedness of becoming one one day.

As i have already mentioned in a couple of my posts regarding how unfortunate i consider myself for being part of a college i am.Three years gone,i am now at the end of my college degree but still i am struggling to make a sense of what i have really learned here which would help me in my life ahead.Virtually nothing.First year-i was in a frustratingly retarding dilemma of whether i shoud continue with my present degree course or drop out and do something(or rather not) about it.Second year-i realized there was no turning back and, i thought to myself,i better focus on my studies a little bit and side by side develop the "great" project i was working on then and make my plans clear about what i would do next after my college.Third year-things started seeming less blurred and i somehow managed to reduce fluctuations and my destination got itself washed-up to seem even more plausible to my then-curious eyes.But wait,what do these things have to do with the title of the post then?

All these confessional bursts on this particular day are all due to my fifth sem results announced today.No i didn't get horrible scores, but it didn't seem like quite an accompalishment either.I got 74% this time around and that's my best so far in college.The sad part-just like each of the previous sems i did not top my Maths department this time too ,which would now probably be just something i would think to myself for years to come," i could have done that but i did not."They rightly say,"those who dream of success,deserve success", as i am pretty sure now i didn't deserve to be a topper of the department in any of the sems and this is all because i was always content with my one-day prep scores compared to the days-prep of my fellow classmates.Inspite of having the best academic records amongst us all before joining the college i remained just the "underdog" who fitted somewhere between the extreme performers(in simple terms the guys with the best and those with the worst scores).If only i had the least idea of how those crappy dusty books,rote-learning methodology implementations were going to seem useful to my "innocent" and "sharp" had-been brain..............